Red Alert -- Germs on the Loose!!

We’re officially at Microbe-Con 4. We’re prettu sure there’s been an outbreak of Something. Not sure whether it’s Norwalk virus or something else, but it’s big. Before y’all panic, know that we are all just fine. As a nurse, I’m already pretty OCD about hand hygiene (just ask my students). But this has gone above & beyond normal practices. Let me explain:

Microbe-Con 0 – Previous cruise, staff mentioned that we might want to wash hands before dinner.

Microbe-Con 1 – Previous cruise, hand sanitizer stations were set up at dining room entrances, usually empty.

Microbe-Con 2 – Previous cruise, hand sanitizer stations set up at dining room & theater entrances, and staff gestured at them emphatically

Microbe-Con 3 – Where this cruise started. Assault by alcohol gel upon boarding the boat or entering dining room. Staff literally spray EVERY hand as passengers board the boat or enter dining area. There’s a mention in the daily guide that persons with symptoms of gastroenteritis, such as nausea, vomiting, or diarrhea should call the medical office. An overhead announcement stated that fees will be waived for medical visits due to gastroenteritis.

Microbe-Con 4 – Where we currently are. The alcohol assault continues, but staff will spray your hands, even if they saw you apply hand sanitizer from the sanitizer station. At the buffet restaurant, the changes are dramatic. The kids’ buffet is completely closed down. The water/ice machines are blocked off, and staff are filling glasses for passengers. The plates have all been hoarded behind a sneeze guard, and a gloved attendant doles out the plates & napkin-wrapped flatware. The salt, pepper, & ketchup that were on the tables have been confiscated. Attendants are at each station to serve the previously self-serve buffet. Want 2 cherry tomatoes and 7 croutons at the salad bar? Tell the attendant. Want a soft-serve ice cream cone? Want a pre-plated dessert or packet of crackers? Tell the attendant and it will be handed to you by a gloved person. Now I wonder, how often are these gloved people washing their hands & re-gloving? I think one of them might have accidentally touched my plate & could pass my cooties on to others. There are sanitizer stations in the elevators, along with printed notices that persons with symptoms should say in their rooms and call the medical office. Don’t come to us, we’ll come to you.

Microbe-Con 5 – Maybe they’ll put industrial strength Lysol in the sprinkler system in the cabins & set it off. Who knows?

If there are people getting sick, then I’m glad they’re responding to it. At breakfast the other day, we saw a boy picking up his little sister to let her stand barefoot on top of the kids’ buffet to reach her own box of cereal. Followed by 2 boys putting their hands inside their shorts & scratching their bummies just before serving themselves breakfast. It was Monk’s worst nightmare. On one hand, it’s a little extreme, but if it keeps me from getting sick, then I will point out that I want my balsamic vinaigrette gently mixed before a half-ladle is poured over my spring greens with 2 cherry tomatoes.